a broken globe, a broken world...
I broke my globe..saddening..it was given to me..i will always remember its presence..it was given to me because i was so sad over being suspended from ENV a few years ago..it was suppose to tell me that there is still a perfect place..
and now..it broke..i am no longer in the perfect globe where snows always form and peace will come after a shake...i am release to a harsh reality of broken glass and hurt..but why am i reacting in this way? why why whY!!! i am suppose to be positve...but i cant seem too..
today..had a family out dinner at sakura..everything was so intense..i have not taken dinner with my dad for a very long time..all i had in my stomach was guilt and more of it..i serious do not know how to face him till i told my mum i did not want to go..but she insisted as my grandma is going..
i probably did not eat up the value that was paid for..what a waste..but i just felt too awkward to eat..and keep remembering what he say.."你还吃得下?我看到你我就吃不下!" that was the reason why i have not been home for dinner...i just did not want to spoil his appetite for food...perhaps i am a unfillial daughter in the end that do not deserve to live on and waste resources...
if it was joyce she would be scolding me about what is all these emo shit and lamenting about on sharilyn's blog..honestly..i do not know..i just..EMO..family matters are the hardest to settle and run away from unless i give my life back or i bleed myself dead...
maybe, family bond will solve it, but as to now..i do not see it yet..
nites people..
by the way i adopted a new god bro~
9:48 PM sHaRiLyN LiM