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Saturday, May 29, 2010

Updated as per 1st June~

Happy post vesak day...I hope your have been good kids.. =D

How did i spend mine? I spend mine meaningfully...I was out volunteering at Buddhist fellowship carnival at the balloon sculpturing booth. Before i go into details here are the people to thank, kenneth, han wei, nick and alvin for coming down to help and support...

They have a professional to come down and do the sculpturing...I was just a helper...so i learn from a pro 偷师学艺 oops..haha..in return we help him with the work...

Salute to him...a young chap of 22 years old and smart and good with his hands...have 5 years of experience with balloon sculpturing already!!!! that is not the key point..the key point is..we have made friends with him..to learn more skills...in return we will just help him out in events...nice chap who knows ow to entertain kids too...i am not praising him too much here...or someone will be jealous..haha...

after that we went to vivo...to have photo shooting...wow instead..amazed by han wei's camera..haha...check out the pics and you will know why...it is indeed cool..took many shots with it..hope they turn out nice..had many photos shoot with my little fishy given by the balloon sculpturist.. hope to upload them here when han wei upload it..

Nick Is HUNGRY~ But han wei want also..haha...


So, han wei snatch for it..."ITS MINE!!!!"


then, Nick angry, cos kenneth come snatching too...so he hold it out far..out of reach to kids...


and...it drop into the sea...


and join all his yellow friends...


I am the fishie family too...wahaha...


and...ballooning my face like fishie...


all all come snatch from me but its mine, see below..i got evidence..


Fishies in the sea...i like this..wahaha...


den i fish it out again...


I have got evidence this is my fish..so all of them stole my fish...wahaha...


I dunno...wat am i doing with 4 guys...3 in the photo. 1 the camera man...


I got feed my fishie..who drink my drink..

check out facebook for more childish photos that all of us took, even though if all our age add up its 70 plus years old le...: this is the link http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2047635&id=1091215440#!/album.php?aid=2047635&id=1091215440


weeeeeeeeeeee.........just accepted another tuition job...gonna be tiring..work work work...still have many things to do..need to update youthabitat today...later after dinner go update..so after you read this check out the youthabitat blog which you can find the link situated at the right column of this blog page.. =D

next week i will be having the anti littering campaign going on at plaza singapura...do check it out next sunday 6th of june from 9am - 5pm... =D


7:20 PM sHaRiLyN LiM

Thursday, May 27, 2010

yesterday I met up with my blog reader...

it is none other then =)

Smiley face...who this smiley face is a secret.. =D

All i can say is i had a lot of fun...with that..it prompted me to read on my many years ago blog post..=D

other then that..nothing else alrdy...


8:47 AM sHaRiLyN LiM

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

I am dreading work...

I am dragging myself to work...

I am dying to leave this work..

But I cant find another one yet..

BAYER please reply soon!!!!!

This is the first symptom of my unhappiness here...Indeed...I am unhappy...

Not sure why...

I was just suddenly struck by the fact that I am just a cheap labor in the company..here to cover all the sai kang..lowest of the lowest shit...

Really hope to jump..i feel invisible here..

One of my colleague did a interesting mental reading on me with 4 questions..

I cant deny how true it was...

he said:
i am confuse now..
I am held back by the past...not knowing where to walk now...
Now what I have is not what I want is what i am pushed into
I am a simpleminded and naive girl
when I am push into a new environment I sit and observe the people around me... (this use to be not true in env, but now its true in my working place)
I am selective over my friends - i can be friends with everyone but I chose certain people to be my good friends
If i agree to what my friends is doing I follow suit - but If i dun, I detach myself
I have dual personality - 1 is a logical person that keep asking question, 2nd is a emotional person so when I ask question I will ask in a nice way though I am angry...It will seems I am indecisive.
I am a team player and independent worker - Can work well in a team yet, I do not like to take orders. I will plan my work well and do my own work perfectly. Do not tell me to change my work a lot of time I will sian diao and throw it to you to do or just don't do.

how true do you thing is it about me?


8:59 AM sHaRiLyN LiM

Friday, May 21, 2010

graduation is over..facebook has many many photos of it..

after that endline...

wat is the beginning?

i ponder over it in deep thoughts...and do not know what will the future holds..i drag myself to work everyday.. dreading the early morning wake and squeeze...things was not going as smooth as i thought it would be...

positive positive...i told myself..

problems...might be the ingredients to happiness...


8:56 AM sHaRiLyN LiM

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

graduate le~


congrates to everyone who graduated in 2009/2010!!!! cheers~

I did not fully enjoyed mine..but still glad that my friends were there to try support me...=D my mum came down...thanks mummy for helping me take photo...

here are some photos..the rest are still with my mummy...














Do Check out facebook too.. =D




Last but not least..a penny of thoughts again...


graduation is suppose to be happy or sad? happy cos everything is over...sad because..it will never be the same and it marks the next beginning...


I have sen many people in the new beginning...like all my SP ENV seniors..and now I am embarking on my very own new beginning..though I do not know what the future will bring...still...with my friends at heart, my family at sight..I know the journey ahead will be a fruitful one...


cheers everyone..


4:00 PM sHaRiLyN LiM

Monday, May 17, 2010

just some random thoughts early this morning...

as i was on the escalator..i saw the working life..never been able to sit quietly, walk quietly and observing my surrounding...

I realise...my pace of walking increases with the working flow..faster and faster...all dress in formal white shirts or other colours with strips, long pants or tight skirts and a working bag...i literally got suck into the working world...but there i was standing..being so different from them in terms of dress code..like i never change from my poly years...still in my t shirt and jeans...

snapped..i awoke..i realise..that was the only difference..i am waking up early in the morning..rushing to work like any other workers..i wanted to be different...but how to? being a youth, i am trying my best to stick to the environment which i am starting to lose touch in...how how? i told myself..i hardly have any time left to sleep...let alone been in the environment sector..

when you are in the working world..there comes another burden of finance....how how? i ask myself..realise there is a lot more that me, a small girl still a girl will never be able to carry...

i realise...maybe...there are still things that I cant do before and still cant do it now..because...i have not grown big enough...

still 19 years old...still struggling away...I wonder..what 20, 21 will bring me to~

smile everyone..its just a thought of mine...hope you enjoyed..


8:31 AM sHaRiLyN LiM

Friday, May 14, 2010

i have been trying to be happy this few days...

i guess...

i fake well..

i guess...

i lied well....

i guess i am a liar....


though i had a huge cry...but i cant seem to control myself..when i think on how near graduation is near by...

i sms my mum today..on whether is she coming..its 4 days to grad..yet...i am feeling no happiness..so many friends around me are like "my parents are coming..." and stuff like tat...yet...my 2 tix are not out...still with me...i just dun want to think abt it..cos it makes me sad...

work work work work work...

go work early in the morning..after work go tuition, saturday go tuition, sunday going for tuition teaching...

not i don't want to face my parents...1 day i will have to...but if i face them now..what they will ask is what do i want to do now...my answer is still dont know despite all the planning and stuff like tat... "DUNNO~" will only pissed my parents off..and other then that i dun really know how to tell them..so avoid...

as for environment..yes i am on the verge to giving up..

till thanks to yiting, lester..they are pulling me...giving me the fuel even though yiting is losing steam too...i seriously cannot imagine myself without environment...would i be just another worker out there?

i am just angry with myself..for being so useless in decision making...

anyone in for L4D? i just wanna vent out feelings...


4:26 PM sHaRiLyN LiM

Thursday, May 13, 2010

today aik kiat just call me...

my target is to work at bayer, hopefully able to get posted to germany...

at the same time..i want to study uni...

at the same time...the current company i have no error with them..and they are training me up and well...encouraging me...

my plan is to work for 2 years..if i dun get into uni now...the current company is keen..yet my heart is over at bayer...

cos, i know in there i will be happy to be able to do my environmental work and work in bio...there got aik kiat and sally...my nanny dad and mum...and this company is not very environmentally friendly not supportive over my environmental work...i will not be able to pursue my environmental commitment but they are nice to me...

so where do i belong?

what is my purpose of life?

????????????????

should i work 1 year for this company then try uni, while in uni still pursue my environment work then after i graduate go into Bayer and work?

would i be too old?


1:46 PM sHaRiLyN LiM


happiness is not given, not earn...

happiness is find...

find the happiness in everything u are doing..even if it is minute...some times u dun see it..as it is use to neutralise ur sadness...

the thing now is...i am feelingless..as the happiness found is use to neutralise my sadness..but now i am finding for more...how can i search for more..

i am looking into my heart...
where the blood flows
where the feeling glows....

maybe soaking in sadness is bad for health
at the same time...

习惯就好~

its everywhere...
the difference is the amount~


8:49 AM sHaRiLyN LiM

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

recently i have been losing myself..

I seem to have withdrawn myself all from the environment works...saddening...

i sat down here as i am typing with a whole lots of stuff in front me to do..i realise...i lost myself and drown myself in the piles of work, pursue of career and earning more money and money..

yesterday i receive my 1st payment for tuition...wow...my hard earned money...but i realise i lost so much time...i seem...to have lost myself in the working life...

in a dilemma state..what's my purpose of my life?

as i am working...i realise...

wasted time cannot be recycled...


8:48 AM sHaRiLyN LiM

Monday, May 10, 2010

on saturday..when i went back home after tuition...

after i sat down...quietly in my room..with no one at home...

tears just rolls..everything just burst...I realise I have been forcing and accumulating all my sadness that went exponentially high high...till...when i had the free time i simply just burst like a balloon...

had a long cry...nv cried so long...realise how much pain i had that i told myself it wasnt pain till i realise there was an inflammation...

stuck...is the best word to describe me now...

numbing myself with all the work in my current company..taking up more and more tuition jobs..yes..i am running away...from all the facts...

yesterday was mothers' day..yet i totally did not see my mum...i do not know how to face her..felt so ashamed..only could just go out and teach tuition the whole day...went back home to eat dinner..they packed for me..but i just cant eat...

i have been only having 1 meal a day..either lunch or just breakfast..cant seem to eat for the other meals...just no appetite..

i wonder..how much weight i lost...


5:28 PM sHaRiLyN LiM

Thursday, May 6, 2010

my mood have been hitting rock bottom, not able to come up and breathe...everyday seem so moodless for me..

uni application result is out..as expected i did not get in..though i told myself many times before and prepared myself for this day...and not hold on to any hopes but i still chose to hold onto that glimpse of hope...and the sorrow hit me hard enough..what adds on more are my parents..not words of comfort...but words of harshness...

expected it though..unlike many family...mine was different..i wasnt able to be like what alcina said, never get in, nevermind, not the end of the world still got many routes to go...but now i am truly lost..i really do not know what to do...

Mrs adeline koh is so nice to lend me a helping hand..she just help me out in the appealing..yet..i dunno why...i lost that light in me...i could not smile truly and that is burdening me in my internship...

as i am in sorrow, i numb myself with my intern project by trying hard and fast to complete it...each time when works end...other den monday, tuesday and thursday, i hang my head low not knowing how to face my parents at home...that is why, if any of u have a job for me to do on wednesday, friday, saturday and sunday...please inform me..i wanna work..cos i dun want to go home...

mothers' day is on sunday...and i just given my mum the worse gift...

graduation is round the corner..my parents won't attend it, i wont want them to attend too..as i will be a shame to them...do i even want to go?

maybe a pursue in passion was a wrong step to take...

~~~


3:20 PM sHaRiLyN LiM

Saturday, May 1, 2010

today is Labour day...

a day to do hard labour!!! =P

haha..no la..jkjk..at least for me it is..hehex...

i woke up in the morning 6am~ to cook for my whole family..fry bee hoon today...yum yum...den headed for my 1st job:

tuitioning at boon lay...the girl was very guai today..the boy was naughty naughty...that i had to scold him..then he emo...=O hmmmm...but i did not rly scold him hard...just ask him a few questions and he keep saying "i dunno, i give up" he is more impatient then me =P but due to that he had a 5 minutes lecture from me, "if you want to give up, then you dun need to continue you primary school, you want then you work hard like ur sister..if not den you can dont study le"

sounds bad...

but..after that i headed home munch my bits of lunch...took my little cutie and off i went on my cycling there to bukit batok student...3pm cycle back...maybe too long nv cycle...leg became soft.. =P after that had to give my little cutie some adjustment...long time never use..curious to know what my little cutie looks like:



Standing... its not very big though but seat and handle bar can be adjusted to fit a giant like me..




Folded, very small and compact very light too..height around my knee height...


tada..that is all for today... =D



7:49 PM sHaRiLyN LiM



YOU LEFT ME ALONE;

since the day the truth was out,
i realize how foolish i was,
to hold on to that glimpse of hope,
that exist as a mirage in the desert.

it destroyed my day and night,
with only darkness settling in,
and rain followed close by
i had try with all my might,
to get i want,
but since this is fated,
just like the sun never meets the moon,
you will never be mine.
i am letting it all go,
in the freedom of the blowing wind.

i no longer walk side by side with you,
leaving my footprints by yours,
my existence only live in the past,
i will stand by you like the stars in the sky,
so near yet so far.

we were once so closed
always not wanting to part,
all i am keeping in my heart,
is the memories we had once shared,
you might have forgotten it long ago,
but it has engraved it in my book of heart.

that promise we made,
is not fulfilled,
it will never be fulfilled either,
locked in the treasure chest of heart,
only you can unlock it,
till then it will be an empty promise you had made.

the rain you left me in,
is cold and chilling,
it had washed away my tears,
and it has awaken me to know you never did love me..



|| all rights reserved || (c)0pyrighted sHaRiLyN LiM..<


ThE OwNer..
Name-->[Lim Pei Yun Sharilyn]
Age -->[19 yrs old goin on 20]
Just Gotten a Job-->[Graduated from SP ]
Belong to-->[Lim Family]
2nd home -->[SP Environment Club alumni network and SEC Youthabitat]
that day..-->[20 Dec 1990 ]
hoRrOrScoPe-->[SaGgi..]
e-mail --> [sharilynlim08@hotmail.com]

Loves
Everlastiinq My Bros
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Everlastiinq dunno

Hates
the vulgarities

liars
BackSTABBERS
betrayers
the RUDES

Wishes
[1] to be my true self
[2] freedom..
[3] get into university
[4] wonderful friends..
[5] peaceful life...
[6] to be well loved..
[7] to be able to do my part for the earth
[6] to be able to love the unfortunate children
Melodious
Myself yourself - violin piano

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Designer: DamnBlackRose
Fonts by: Dafont
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More About Me..
i am no longer the girl:
-who sits alone
-without a friend
-with the knife
-who looks at sorrow
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-who hates her life
-wanting everything to end
-making her life bleak

i am still the girl:
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-who seeks affection
-with the smiles =)
but those who seek shall find the secrets of me...
Whispers...



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