forcing
everyday i am forcing...
forcing myself to study...
threatening myself...
making myself to think of the consequences...
still..
all i did was to take book in front of me..
no matter how i try to force..
it seems nothing went in...
i feel like screaming outloud...
it doesnt feel like me...
i wanna be myself...
just like i was in secondary school...
friends...
i thought were once a good source of motivation...
indeed..
they did study with me once...
i though it was useful..
yet..
i realise we all have our own life to live...
i might wanna study...
but others wanna play...
parents..
suddenly quieten down...
left me alone...
holding on an imaginary rope..
tying myself to the chair..
forcing myself to study..
discipline in training~
7:39 PM sHaRiLyN LiM