today is Friday! last day for the week.Hmmm...today i did not do much, I had a chatting session with Stanley, but he started with a quiz on QC and QA. Hmmm...it is normal that i cannot answer, as he never TEACH me...haha...after that we were talking about jobs. 10 years later, will i continue my line as a biotechnologist? Honestly, I answer straight in the face, NO! I wanted to be a chemist, but after what he said, my thoughts wavered. He has chemist friends, who work in chemical company, and he said he work for 4 years in there is equivalent to losing 10 years of his lifespan. The pay is good, but is it worthy to exchange your lifespan for the money? Will we even live to spend the money that is obtain in exchange of our life? I don't really care about the money, but i was thinking, what would happen if I go before my parents does. Is it worthy? He has set me thinking in a lot matter, and lead me to really re-think what i truly want 10 years down the road. I have ever considered that I would want to pursue a entrepreneur course of life. But here i am, in a family where my dad is an entrepreneur himself, he is successful, he is someone from zero, and make his name out to what he is now. But he met a lot of hardships, and also he lose a lot of family time, he doesn't even know how old i am, when is my birthday. Will i chose to walk the path my dad has walk? I am thinking hard. I don't want to lose valuable time with my family, if i ever create one. But we do not always win, we will have sacrifices in life, everyone only has 24hours, what differs each and everyone of us, is what we do to that 24hours given to us.

I remember Miss Chamb (my ex secondary school principal) words:

If I open a bank a/c for you, and place $240000 in your bank, and you are allowed to us this money to buy anything you would like, but this money cannot be carry forward tot he next day. Everyday will start with $240000. Will you spend all the money in that bank a/c?

I remembered my answer clearly. Everyone say "yes". I was the only one who say "no". I was called up by her and explain why I said no.

If I have $240000 everyday and if i were to go shopping my leg will ache like hell, i still want to run and walk, so i would rather not use the money and let myself rest. Secondly, I do not have such a big house to contain so many things worth of $240000. If everyone is given this amount everyday den Singapore will sink due to the large amount of things and people won't learn cherish the precious-ness of items as they can buy again the next day. Lastly, if everyone is to go shopping, then who will be the one working to earn this money, who will be the one serving us?

Haha, I left her speechless. Only after that then she explain that the money is time she was referring too. Haha...how crappy i am..haha...


Today when i reach home, i carry ding ding like a baby in my arms, tears just trickle down my face. I was thinking to myself, when ding ding came to my family she was just a baby girl, running around the house, a naughty girl she can be. And now she is all grown up, being a mother having 3 birth times, a mother of 10 puppies. Time has fly pass, it has been quite some time since i carry her like a child. Then, i hug her real tight not willing to let her go, i was afraid of losing her to death god.

duno why, recently so attach to emotions, maybe i am too tired from ITP-ing. Making me all moody and emo-ing. The chemical making my head throbbing in pain, and the skipping of meals has been worsening my gastric. This few days so quiet until my maid though i angry with her, bros have been asking my mum what happen to me, as i simply lock myself in my room. Honestly, i dunno why. To someone, I apologize for the heavy rain since the past few days, I know it has greatly affected your mood too.

Lastly, Thanks stanley for your pizza treat today.

Chunks of words:
i was standing in the rain,
all wet and tired,
in hope thee was a crane,
who will bring me to the clouds.
Where it no longer rains.

i was no longer who i was before,
everything has change,
childhood memories seems so faint,
as if they were just dreams,
or a cinema show,
i have let myself flow,
in the time wave,
is it time to step out of the dark cave?

to travel with my small feet,
walk the tall mountains,
and cross small streams and rivers,
to find a whole new place,
and create a whole new face,
set a deep impact,
digging up new facts,
showing that i have live,
even when i fade.

*fallen sick*

8:30 PM sHaRiLyN LiM