seems to be updating blog once every 2 days...suppose to blog yesterday, but did not had the correct "mode" to do so. did not do much yesterday (labour day). A bunch of env-ians (SP ENV) went for an outing. But i was excluded, wahaha...i wanted to go but labour day, is for doing labour things for me...jkjk... went down in the morning to fold incense paper, so there was not enough time to go, and i knew i couldn't go, so I did not bother asking. After i folded the papers, went back to my room. (which i was scolded too, for beingin my room too long'|') did drawing of a rose for my practical datasheet, that itself took 1 hour! (cos i am not a very artistic person, tat is why drawing is indeed a tedious task =P) after drawing i was back to "stoning" mode. only then i was told to go bath and we went to grandma house.

at grandma hs, i sat at the living room for a while, and went to the room and close myself in there too.. doing wat? read a whole series of 小叮当 comics, which soon i fell asleep. the rest? playing majong...so i was invisible then.

dinner was held at temasak club's restaurant. aged under 21 and below 1 table, above 21 went another table. so me, my 2 bros and jess was catergories togther with the 3 brats. (no choice) they were indeed noisy and spoilt to the end, we manage to get them off by asking them to go toilet, for that few minutes it was peaceful. They wanted to tell jokes, (laming) but their jokes wee so damn cold. though at some point we did laugh. Points like "chao chao, sun zi, zhu ge liang sit aeroplanes (that generation where got plane? still got parachute de) then we had a great laugh. Still got, jump down from the plane never die tat part also very funny. the rest was colder then the air con. i still love the part where my brothers told jokes, the both of them really make me have stomache. wahaha... hmmmm...but as usual the 2 cousin did not report, one is agnes and alex. their sister ---} jess went "typical" haha...and we knew. So it wasnt really a renuion dinner afterall... tat was all for the day which was call labour day.

today! interesting findings for me too. indeed caught me in surprise. in the middle of a class i receive victor's sms "ms angel wants to see you" i went "er...why?" he went "duno" was not really bothered by it, but had a bad feeling about it =X had normal lessons. until GEMS which ended slightly earlier, so wanted to drop by Ms angel office and see what was she looking for me, but she was not in *full stop* wahaha...

after tat went to the library with kah yan to borrow some books for our datasheets. Till 5pm and went to report to ms angel, saw victor there, and we both did "detention" cos we had to wait for Ms Angel, she had something important to settled. soon after tat it was my turn. It was a chit chatting session wih her, and wahaha...hmmmm....couldnt answer alot of her questions, cos "duno" how to answer. haix...=X then mummy called, asking me why am i still not back. told her that i was with Ms Angel. Chit chat with Ms angel more. Hmmmm....wahaha...she knew something which she is not suppose too...just becos she had access to my blog...=X wahaha....(she even know i do cooking =X)(pssss....this is a warning to "env-ians") wahaha...she will read it tooo...(will she kill me?) no choice we are at light she is at dark, we never know when she pop in to read. no wonder my counter has bee rising, and the tag board still seem blank blank de =X looks like i have readers that "come quietly and goes quietly too =X" (that includes victor who even went to the extend of printing my blog out =X)

still i will keep this blog going on, but i will take care of "censorship" hmmm...though will kind of feel uneasy to blog as we know a person of higher authority is watching.

do i really have to go for counselling? noooo....history is repeating, hopefully this counsellor does not vomit blood and needs to go counselling him/herself...really must go? Can pon? =X

reach home with more scoldings, which i just stare and say "orh" back to my room i went. Just had dinner, it was round II from papa, i just kept quiet eating my dinner get over it and left the table asap. How would you want me to stay on the table and talk to them, I can't.

I am sorry Ms angel I can't seem to accomplish what you had advise me to do, i rather i stay quiet and let them say/scold/nag, I do not want to argue with them that is why i am keeping quiet. Cos i know that I can be a rebellious kid if i were to start arguing with them, and i do not want it to happen. That is why I staying cold,cool or you can say the "dun bother" kind of attitude. This is just my way of showing that i still respect them as my parents by not arguing with them. I did not slash with the intention to take my own life, just to remind myself I am still a human cos i have become so cold towards alot of things including death, either because i am just tired or i do not want to get myself involve, or the way you put it in "reality has sunk in"

I know it can be quite dissappointing to know a 13 pointers has got such a grade, I will do my best. And of course I need to find back the fighting spirit that I had when I first step into Singapore Polytechnic.

I can win alot of people with my true heart, with my happy attitude but my parents does not fall into these "people" catergory. If this is fated then there is nothing much I can do. But still I respect them as my parents. Just like I respect Ms Angel more then an officer since i shared quite a number of things with you. Mothers' Day is coming and i still do not know what to do about it.

Before i end this entry take a look at the picture below.

cute? i saw it when i was on the bus home:

7:17 PM sHaRiLyN LiM