Had happen to look into Joysi Blog and saw her post to me, shall reply it to her here:

But i kind of don't know how to reply to you. Erm..the picture wasn't taken in the main lib it was at home.

Parts of what you say are quite true and some parts which I think you will understand how i feel too. I was also an "accident" on the verge of abortion i was still kept cos my uncle wanted a child. I was given away right after birth. And a lot of quarrels between my uncle and parents over me. This is what i heard from my dad. I believe you will sort of know how it feels.

I have always convince myself that my mum loves me, and she loves me. So does my dad who had always had to be the middle person. It was wrong on my part to say that my mum hates me, (even if she does) or to say i hate my mother. No matter what, she still did had me in her womb for 10 months, though i never remember of her carrying me in her arms, or even a hug. On labour day, I went to my grandmother house and flip some photo albums. I was wrong to say there wasn't any photo of my mum carrying me when I was a kid, there was a few of it, around 5 of it.

My mother loves me, but just that she show it in a different way. If she did not care she would not have scolded me, she won't even care to see whether i am home. She would not had wanted me to stay at home, cos she is afraid I would get hurt outside. All she was trying to do was to shelter/protect me. Even though there is a big gap between us, she is still my biological mother the one who gave birth to me. She is concern for my grades as I had faired way different from my 2 brothers.

As for how i got enlightened? One is from joysi's blog. Thanks for knocking some senses into me. =) the other is from my dad. He came in this morning and "showered" some care and concern, and he also said not to hate my mother. Cos after-all she is still my mother and she did it for my own good. I will not wait till my parents passed away (touch wood) then i cry and regret, (then i would be no diff from my uncles and aunts)

"they always think that we are troubled when we are silent. i see nothing wrong in shutting up because i am not that much a fan in talking." Quoted from joysi blog. Not really true for my case, as I had always been quiet at home.

"i am biase i like tako better cos tako has a small tako on his head." mono dun have a small mono on his head.


It is also true that i kind of distant from a few of the people i called friends. What had happened?? Sorry for neglecting you guys, but still thanks for the concern. and of course to joysi too, though her words are not very nice to hear, but it had knocked some (alot) of senses into me.

Lets get back to reality, erm..i mean the real reality. No matter how imperfect any family is, it is still a family, cause a family is made of humans that are imperfect.

Read an online book at this website, which also enlighten me:
http://www.goodybooks.com/journey.htm

My mother is more than a lady, she is my mother, my brothers' mother, my father's wife, my grandmother's daughter, my aunts' sister, an employer. In short she is a super-lady just like Ms Angel.

9:19 AM sHaRiLyN LiM