Sorry have not been updating blog...Have been caught in work, stoning. Not that I dun want to blog but cos no internet, cannot blog.

It has almost one week since i blog. =( I will jsut blog what i remember. I only remember stoning alot, saturday suppose to go out with zain and chuan hai, but fly an aeroplane on them. I was then chit chatting with daddy about work. Sunday was tv day, other then watching tv and chatting with daddy, going market with my parents. Talking to mei hoon, there seems to be meaningless things i have been doing. Nights were weaving papers, boxes paperbags etc. All the bo liao things. Cos i really cannot find anything to do other then stone. And when i stone i will thing of all the problems, so it is better not to stone. that was weekends.

Monday, was working day, so i just work. But i remeber that morning's sms from someone saying that i was not as cheerful. I was indeed surprise he could sense it. That day i numb myself with work. Only after work I thoughy of all the stuffs. Shang Ming ask me out, along with him I ask mei Hoon, and she catch Dacai at clementi. She me, and dacai went to IMM, walk at daiso...sorry to the both of you, i was then super crazy. BEcause I duno what to do, I cannt cry so i laugh.哭笑不得 I was then very crazy, i know! but that was the only reaction i could express. Then we meet until shang ming. He was busying with some things so was late. In the end we only meet up for 1/2 hour. -.-'|'I went home feeling cold and unfeeling. = stoning mode.

Tuesday, as requested I went to look for Ms Angel early in the morning. She approved, I believe all SP Env club committee members should know by now. As usual because I duno how to react I was in the crazy mode. I play with 理由 Leo, jacko 借口, excuse and reason. on top with ISC ball ball. had got a few number of freshie to leave thier contacts. The one which leave very deep impression was ZHI XUAN, mei hoon should know him. He stand there and chat with us. BENNY was there too, no mac treat =( cos he was on time. jkjk...we were den quite crazy. But soon die off, cos I was hungry. I had to go down to waterways watch society so i left. Before that went to ISC at level 3, lame with their "sean/shawn/seah" whatever his name is. As i and hoon hoon was walking to MRT I saw VICTOR's message. Then my mood change back. On the MRT, was chatting with mei hoon for a while. Then drop back to silence. I cant seem to bring the happy feeling up. In the end at WWS, the students + ZHI HAO got it from me. I still remember the sentence i used " if any of you dare to step into the water, i make sure we throw you into the water" so bad rite? wasnt in the correct mood. we ended at 4:30pm. I did not want to go back so early. So stayed out, but duno where to go. So go back to school. ZAIN was going swimming, so go there see him swim. Pei xuan and sean was at cloub hs with jack. So go there peek a while. Then benny also came along. Pei xuan, sean and jack go home le. Then me and benny go see zain swimming. Was quite bored then. That was around 6:30pm ++ zain and friends went to changed, so i and benny left the pool. we waited for the bus. And headed home. We chit chatted on the bus.

I have been smiling, being happy, joking cum lame-ing. Not because I am truly happy. Just that I dont want my friends to worry about me, like previously. Though my act is super lousy.

Still wondering what happen for those who do not know? I have officially step down as NYAA coordinator from SP Environment Club.

I want to apologies and thank a few people here. The 1st to say sorry is to Shang Ming. Sorry i have disappoint you and waste all your effort. To all the MAIN committee members, sorry for leaving just like this I dont mean too, the new NYAA coordinator would be better then me. To TAT HONG, sorry to disappoint you too, your mei too lousy to take up this postion.

Thanks to the same few people for having faith in me. I do not have the potential. Still need to thank Ms Angel. One more important person, BENNY! thanks for being there and trying to cheer me up, I greatly appreciate it. "a friend in need is a friend indeed" And of course MEI HOON, who have accompanied me since I have been pondering on this matter.

the reasons? I have to make a SACRIFICE. In this level it is CCA. Because I cannot scrifice my dream, I need to scrifice my passion. Recently, family have crash into problems which make me realise it is time for me to do my part as a member of the family. I cannot only care for myself, it is very selfish of me, I have always lead a home stay life. And now? I need to do my part as a family member which is to sacrifice the necessary things.

It is painful to let something go that you already have on hand. If i tell you that I am happy,I am ok and i am smiling. I am lying to you. It is very pain to just let go of something that you have earned. Amoung that 4 people who know 1st about me giving up the postion, only 1 saw me cried. very pain, very pain. But what can i do? Isnt pain the part and parcel of growing up. That is why i hate growing up.

The girl is sad, and she is crying both inside and outside.Numbing herself with work + more work. How will she face you? You tell her how?

10:05 AM sHaRiLyN LiM