what the hell...

i have just lose another important thing in my life. My mp3 player, which is given to me by my 2nd brother. Something which is very important to me. I was looking high and low, but i confirm know i lose it outside. While walking back to school from clementi, i cried. i scolded outloud, i scold ti gong. I scold him for taking whatever that is important in my life. Do you know how terrible it feels to have your mum scolding u using harsh words.I lose the necklace she gave me, it was in my wallet and i lose it. she said "你没有把我买给你的东西放在眼里" she said i treat it as a unimportant item. But cant she see, cos i feel it is an important item tat is why i bring it around me, so i will feel my mum is by my side. Cant she see this?

I cried the whole night. She banned me from going school today, but because i wanted to help rachel i went down to meet tat hong 1st. And on the way i lose my mp3 player. i have been crying for the past week. I feel so terrible. I have been trying to cheer myself up, but only to sink into it deeper each time. When i was walking back to school, i realise how alone i was. How sad it can feel.

2 very important persons i would like to thank here is Zain and Ms Angel. After looking for Ms Angel she held me back, she was asking me why my eyes were red and puffy. She told me to treat her as a elder sister and talk things out. Then i chatted with her. She told me, each lady in this world i a super woman. Why? Many had to be a good wife, a good daughter, a good mother, a good employer (if have maid), a good employee (if working for someone) etc. Then i realise what she said was true, many us here are trying to be good daughter, good student etc. We cant accomplish all at once. She told me to cheer up. She wants to see the Sharilyn she saw a few weeks back. She also told me not to drop into the depression state and tried to cheer me up. Thank Ms Angel, I realise your source of encouragement is what i truly need then.

Zain, i need to thank him for his treat. He treat me a cup of slurpee. Thanks that was the 1st intake of the day. He attempt to make me smiled. And of course one of his meassage which he send was "you can trust me if no one you can believe k?" he suddenly make me realise that i had someone who cared.

2 more people whom i want to thank on top of those two above is mei hoon and shang ming. Mei hoon had sms to show her concern, thanks hoon, i hope i am ok. And shang ming, who dropped sms on whether i am doing well, trying to cheer me up. And offered his listening ears.

Thanks, i know i have friends who truly care for me. But my world seems to be crashing. I really duno what to do. Tell me everything is alright.

2:28 PM sHaRiLyN LiM