2 blog merge into 1!

why I merge 2 into 1..haha..lazy to open and close so many blog writer. =P And also I am suppose to blog last night, but fell asleep watching anime, because was lying on bed. Shuang already den sleep. So sorry to those who talk to me today "early" in the morning, I saw the msn at 4:51am. =P

Yesterday my topic was: when the feeling of hate grows...

I did not have very good dinner. Due to my mum nagging every single thing I am doing, my dad adding oil to the fire. After dinner I just went into the kitchen and never step out of there until they went up. Then I was filled with anger too, I sort of hate my mum (this is terribly wrong) for the fact I don’t understand why each time she speak to me is scolding and more scolding,. Why is there no time where we both can sit down and chat about my school life, my thinking etc. why does it always has to be scolding and scolding. All this while I had nobody to talk to, when I am in secondary school the feeling of being outcaste, the feeling of losing inter school competition, the feeling of winning competition, she knows none of it going on. Times where by I cried alone cause I lose an important inter school match was unheard. How much does she know about me? How much does she care for me? I force myself to understand on her part as a mother, but did she ever put herself in my shoe as a daughter? She herself is a daughter of my grandmother, but why can’t she treat me like how my grandmother treat her? Sometimes I just feel tired, I don’t understand why the relatives around me are asking me to talk to her, don’t they see the point, is not I do not want to talk to her, is I don’t know how to talk to her. I can’t talk to her like how I talk to many of my friends. Remembering once where she was admitted to hospital, my aunt, my grandmother plus the psychiatrist told me to talk to my mother, the next thing is I entered the room sat there and felt useless, cause I don’t know what to say other than pat her back can anyone feel the agony I felt then? The ice between us seem unbreakable I attempt to break it before, but I am just unable to do so. Talk so much also no use, maybe I have failed my job as a daughter.

Today post: weird dream and Market!

I woke up from a weirdest dream. I dreamt that I was in a place where animals were considered as toys as there was a curse by this lady who is my aunt. I had special powers which enable me to draw the past and present. So I was in my fathers’ factory (making toys) call the world II toy factory. When a aura hit me, I followed the feel, stop at a wall and draw 2 different lady with the same look, at the top of one lady written world I and the second world II. The world one was a gentle, elegant lady. While the world II was clean and pure but had blood stain on her clothes. I did not continued my dream, was woken up by my dad to go on duty.

I was on duty today, to go to the market with parents. As usual, market never fails to amaze me. Today not much fishes, so nothing much to explore. But chicken stall was cool, there written” chicken breast: 1 piece $1.70 3 pieces $5” cute? Haha, =P cause I studied entrepreneurship cause me to mentally calculate something, 1 piece $1.70, 3 pieces = $5.10 =P they counted it as $5 so easier to count. Had breakfast!!! With parents, quite long time since the 3 of us had breakfast together. =) but this time no nagging. I sat there and listen to their conversations. So here I am after marketing.

I am happy to say my 1st application of job is approved already. Now I am look for my 2nd job. =P

The smile is back on THE GIRL’S face, don’t worry…she is now stronger and hopefully happier. =)

10:35 AM sHaRiLyN LiM